How to keep a secret boy/girlfriend from family.

If you’ve found the person you want to be with and you are restricted from dating for unreasonable reasons, you may consider having a secret boy/girlfriend. This takes a lot of skill and dedication because keeping a secret boy/girlfriend is actually quite stressful. That’s unless, you really like them and think it’s worth it. There are benefits to keeping a secret boy/girlfriend because since it’s so hard to maintain, you know immediately when it’s not worth it. To plan a date so thoroughly and mentally painfully for someone you don’t really like, it’ll be hard to drag on your feelings for them. There are other benefits too, such as saving yourself from embarrassment if you do break up. People would’ve never guessed you two were together.

To have a secret boy/girlfriend, you must have a clear mind as to who are dangerous. For example, if your parents do not want you dating until you’re done with your education, then your parents are dangerous. If your siblings are prone to tattle-telling, then they are dangerous as well. If they like to explode all your secrets during disagreements, even if you rarely fight, they are still dangerous. Before you talk about your “secret boy/girlfriend”, think about the consequences. If you are in a situation where your best friend has “the right to know” (which I can never understand why) and they often blurt things out unaware of the potential hazards, do whatever you want. In my case, I chose to tell my best friend. During dinner, I invited her to my house and she asked me about my boyfriend. I looked at her in the eye real quick, and she immediately knew what she had done. If your friend is quick, s/he will know what to do. My friend turned it around and made it look like a joke. But if your friend still doesn’t know what they have done, you should turn it into a joke.

Having a secret boy/girlfriend will definitely stop you from going out as much as often if your obstacle is a parent who wants to monitor where you go and who you’re going with. If you have received parents like mine, then you must think before you propose to your parents your plan to go out. My parents don’t always ask the questions but just in case they do, I think about a “plan”. Let’s say, I’m going to go out with my boyfriend to the mall. You have to create the scenario. The smart thing to do is not to lie about the destination and not pick a selection of friends whom your parents can actually contact. If you lie about the destination, you could always direct it away by saying “Oh I left the mall a while ago, now I’m at another mall since there’s nothing to do there.” If they insist on picking you up or seeing you immediately, say that it isn’t a convenient time and promise to reach them later…but soon. I’ve never had destination problems but I have had trouble with picking my best friend to be one of the people hanging out at the mall. My parents couldn’t reach me for some reason and called her, and she replied that she was not with me. If you’re quick, you will explain that she was supposed to go but suddenly, she didn’t come. You need to think of ways to use the gaps in stories. Try not to involve people who your dangerous individuals can contact. Even if they don’t specifically ask about the relationship, it may come up unexpectedly. When you’re experienced with scheming, you can eventually go to their house! I go to his house to play Nintendo DS Lite with him and sometimes make him watch dramas with me, so I have a solid alibi already. If you’re a naughty person by chance, I think you could still think of a scheme? If I was a naughty and sexually active person, I would not pick an excuse of an action that I would not normally do. For example, I wouldn’t say “I’m going to his house to talk about clothes and play Neopets.” First of all, I don’t like talking about clothes and I don’t play Neopets. Neither does he. Using this excuse that does not work for either of you will raise maximum suspicion. You don’t want that.

If you intend to stay with them after a date or a visit or whatever, you need to act normal afterwards. For example, if you normally talk a lot about your adventures to the mall with your actual friends, make it up and do that. If you suddenly go silent as if you went nowhere and that you really didn’t see all your friends, that is suspicious. You don’t want to act oddly after going out, it shows that you did not experience what you would have and that you could be guilty of scheming.

Think about how long you want to keep it a secret. If you were to ask me, I don’t think I could possibly publicly date until one or two years later so that’s how long I have to keep scheming. It normally depends on your obstacle. How long would it take them to accept your secret boy/girlfriend? If you have older siblings with boy/girlfriends, when did they start publicly dating? Use that information to back up your choice to “start” dating. You can also make an impact to unsuspecting parents that you have been secretly dating all along (unless it angers them). The whole idea of that impact is to prove that you had self-control and did not get yourself or your girlfriend pregnant or do anything foolish or get badly influenced by each other. As for influence, I trust everyone to have good sense in picking their lovers. If not, then try not to mention that you have been dating secretly in the past.

Nosy friends can get really annoying especially when all they ask you is “Are you and Blah dating?” You can say “no”, laugh it off and say “no”, just laugh, say “yes” sarcastically, insult them, beat them up, or pretend you never heard them. Actually, you can just stay silent and look at them as if they’re crazy. I recommend the raised brow technique. It works on almost everyone. That way, they are not given an answer but somehow believe that the answer is a “no”. If they still insist on finding an answer, say “What do you think?” Continue to look at them as if they’re crazy. Overdo it. Make them feel like they’re saying crazy things.

I end this how-to article with this because I can’t really think of anything else. I may add something later. What a long sentence and… what a long post.